I’m supposed to be writing.
Actually, according to the schedule I made, I’m supposed to be having breakfast right now, followed by exercise, meditation, and then the rest of the stuff I’m supposed to do in a day. Don’t get me wrong. I think schedules are a good thing. They help keep a person on track, give you guidance when you don’t know what to do next, and help you feel a sense of accomplishment.
If you follow them.
I’m not so good at it. That’s why I sometimes slide into the ‘supposed to’ thinking. That’s when the schedule becomes this nagging pest who won’t leave me alone and fills my subconscious with thoughts of failure and supposed to comments.
In certain personality profiles, I’m considered an open-ended person. In other words, I can’t make a decision to save my life and anything seems possible. Even as I’m writing this blog, my brain is thinking of all the alternative topics I could be writing instead.
But, what I’m really supposed to be doing is working on my new book, ‘Taeowolf’, which is set to come out in March. It’s a fantasy adventure I had completely written until I decided to drop another character into the middle of the story. Now, I love this new character; she’s spunky and interesting, but really? The story was done. I’m supposed to be doing the final edit. Then again maybe not.
Maybe it’s important to have the schedule, but not get so tied to the plan that you don’t leave room for change. Perhaps, supposed to is as useless as living for the future or getting stuck in the past. I don’t know. After all of this, perhaps I’m just rambling to avoid the aching discipline of turning thoughts into words.
To some, writing is supposed to be easy…this magical stream of words spilling out onto the keyboard and creating amazing characters and intriguing worlds. I’ve had moments like that, but more often than not it’s the agonizing journey of dragging a wounded body across a desert while an army of a hundred supposed to’s follow behind, swiping at my heels.
Oh, well, heave ho, and away we go.
How do you get rid of the ‘supposed to’s’? I’m open to (almost) any advice. Leave a note in the comments, thanks.
And don’t forget to pick up your Free copy of Down and Out from Amazon if you haven’t already done so.
May all your ‘supposed to’s’ leave you alone today.